I often feel like a hypocrite in regards to my body and the message I give to the world. If you don’t know me in person you may not know that I am a male to female transgender person and that I have not had the actual surgery that changes your genitals. I am also overweight, not just a few pounds but to the point that I have been declared by one doctor to be morbidly obese. I want to have the surgery that helps the gender in my heart and mind match that of my body, but to do so I have to lose a lot of weight like nearly 100 lbs.  I agree with the idea that we need to love our bodies no matter the size or shape, the age or color, the scars or the freckles or the tattoos, these are all beautiful, but I just can’t love the body I was born in because my body isn’t right for me. It has this extraness that is simply not me, and to get rid of this I have to claw and fight and struggle my way to be thinner, not because I want to be thinner, but because this is the only way I can get what I want, to have harmony between my body and my heart and my mind and my name and my shadow and my soul and the rest of me as well. I have to act out of sync with my belief to achieve the unity I want and it hurts. I feel my words are lies, barb wired tumble weeds rolling off my tongue. I feel that my body is like that of Jabba the Hutt with Salacious B. Crumb fused to my groin whereas my spirit soars like the cosmic jellyfish from Encounter at Farpoint. I fear that after the end of my life my heart will be weighed against a feather and would be far too heavy to enter Zep Tepi, instead I will be a feast for Ammit for having said one thing and acted in a different manner. I’m not looking for any words of wisdom but if anyone can spare a hug it would be appreciated.

Why fashion needs to not dominate the lives of people in the BGLT community.

Its a stereotype that far too often has a basis in reality. Women and men being fashion obsessed, an industry that thrives off of people fitting into a certain mold; thin to the point of anorexia or muscular, air brushing the image until the model doesn't recognize him/herself, and then the leaders of the fashion world (maybe "fascist world" would be better?) turn on the people that support them. here, Dolce & Gabbana, two gay men speak out against gay marriage:

http://www.forbes.com/sites/afontevecchia/2015/03/16/dolce-gabbana-break-the-internet-coming-out-against-gay-parenthood-elton-john-calls-for-boycott/

and then here, Giorgio Armani critcises how gam men should look and women who have had cosmetic surgery:
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/giorgio-armani-criticises-the-way-some-gay-men-dress-saying-a-man-has-to-be-a-man-10188661.html

so, you can be gay but don't have children in any way, don't have cosmetic surgery, dress in a CIS manner. pay no attention to what the models do or do not do with their bodies, follow the trend that we set forth for this season, and be ready for dramatic changes for next season.

I am a Bisexual Male to Female transgender person. I am happily married and I support my wife and our growing family. I will dress as I please and anytime I dress in a non cis manner or in a way that is contrary to the fashion police, I want them to take it as a personal affront, I want them to see my non compliance as a big F you to those who think they have any right to say how I or my partners or my family should live our lives. In closing, may Giorgio Armani, Domenico Dolce, and Stefano Gabanna be visited by Sekhmet when she hasn't had a beer.

Body Positive Self-talk

I've been thinking about body-positive self-talk a lot lately. My wife and I have been talking about it a great deal lately, along with our girlfriend. We've been exploring how we dress ourselves.

We've also been exploring eating and exercising habits that center around really listening to our bodies; not just momentary cravings, but what the body seems to really want and need, what makes us feel deep-down good and happy. We don't exercise just because we're "supposed to," but we find something enjoyable to do that happens to be exercising our bodies. We don't eat something that's good for us just because it's good for us, we make something that tastes good and is satisfying that is full of things the body needs instead of things it doesn't. And if we feel tired, we rest. And if we want a treat, we have one. And we don't beat ourselves up for it.

Know what? It works. I haven't felt this healthy OR happy in decades. I talk to myself as someone who is beautiful, who is valuable.

I felt guilty about complimenting myself at first. Can you believe that?! We're taught that valuing our own bodies is arrogant. I felt like an ass for thinking I was worthy of just taking care of myself, of just seeing myself in a way that was detached from what others might thing of me.

Well, for the first week of this blog, I'd like to talk about body-positivity.

What do you do to stay positive?

Hi, everyone! I'm Maryam, the Foodie Witch. Liberal Lesbian Witchcraft & More was born of a conversation among friends that started with venting, turned silly, and then someone said, "Hey, you know what might be cool if we...?"

Not everyone here self-identifies as a liberal, a lesbian, or a witch, but we are all open-minded and are friends and allies at being decent human beings. We're here to talk about..well, whatever is interesting, with a variety of topics that we think are important or relevant. We hope some of it interests you, too.